With Thanksgiving

I had asked Beautiful Daughter to watch the Macy's Thanksgiving Day Parade with me. I was there for the introductory floats all the way through Santa and his elves waving and singing with children in unison. She came in for a while, but was not as amused as I was (as I always am), so she went to her room and got ready for our big dinner with friends. I finally heard Precious Son awaken and so I asked if he would come watch the parade with me. He did. We had some commentary on the marching bands and music, but mostly we just laid in bed, watching the parade and talking. I did ask Beautiful Daughter to rejoin us for Santa's arrival and she agreed. (You do know that is the most important part of the parade, right??)

It was while we were talking that an idea hit me like a bolt of lightening and I became quiet as I processed the thought over and over in my head...

"What if they don't come back when they leave???? What if they turn 18, go off to college, and never want to share another holiday with us or a family vacation or anything?!??!?!!? What would I do???"

The past seventeen years with our children have absolutely and honestly f-l-o-w-n by. My baby just turned 17. He can drive. He can almost vote. He can almost go off to war. Our other baby will be 15 in March. God. How is this even possible? And now, as we apply for colleges and gather all sorts of information necessary to apply for a higher education, I realize that it's practically over. Done. Finito. And I blew it.

We didn't do all the things I had wanted to do before they left the nest and now, NOW, I have less than a year??? All of a sudden, as I am watching Spongebob, the 13 story float navigate his way through 7th Avenue, it hits me. I am out of time. We never went to Niagara Falls. We never went to South Dakota to see Mt. Rushmore. We never drove up north to eat fresh lobster off the coast of Maine or drive through Vermont in the fall. (The whole "going to Hawaii" thing is really more about a HUGE anniversary, so I am not upset about not having done that one yet...) Anyway, here I was with my son next to me watching the very parade I had wanted to take them to see before they were grown and I was as far away from New York and Macy's as if I were on the moon.

Talk about having the breath knocked out of somebody.

Precious Son was asking me a question so I had to regroup and focus. Neither of them an easy task between my "chemo brain fog" and the frightful thoughts I was having about our kids leaving home and never coming back.

"They look amazing, don't they?", he asked me...

I answered skillfully and with considerable deliberation, "Uhhhhhhhhhhh..."

Precious Son then added, "Adair County. They look amazing. I am so glad they were able to go this year. They work so hard and are so small."

Oh. Oh. Oh. Adair County. Yes, Yes. Yes. "Oh Honey, it's true! They are really talented and dedicated kids. I am happy they made it to the parade."

*Adair County, Kentucky. Population is much less than the larger populous counties such as Jefferson County (Louisville) and Fayette County (Lexington)*

We finished watching the parade and yes, Beautiful Daughter did rejoin us in time for Santa and his elves to officially ring in the Christmas season. The parade ended and the rest of us got ready to leave out for our Thanksgiving feast with Alice and Joe. I didn't have time to think about my fears for a good twenty minutes, but man, as soon as I had a captive audience in the Suburban...

Actually, we talked about other things on the way to Alice and Joe's. I decided to table the "when-you-turn-18-do-you-think-you-will-ever-come-back-to-me-and-daddy-for-vacations-or-holidays-or-special-events-that-should-be-celebrated-with-family-because-family-is-what-really-matters-and-if-you-all-could-just-promise-me-and-give-me-some-reassurance-I-think-our-day-will-be-better-ok-MY-day-will-be-better-because-I-am-shallow-and-while-I-do-want-you-to-be-happy-with-your-own-lives-I-still-need-to-know-that-you-will-have-room-in-your-hearts-for-me-and-daddy" conversation. I mean, really, we had the whole drive home for that!

Thanksgiving was wonderful. The friends were fantastic and the food was beyond delicious. We visited, played games, ate, and ate, and ate. Yummmmm. I actually had the best corn pudding I have ever tasted. Alice had made two pumpkin pies from scratch...as in, she cooked the pumpkins, scooped out the pumpkin stuff, and made pies out of it. I don't think I even knew that was an option. If we all did that, what would Libby's do???? You know, I don't have a single recipe that calls for fresh pumpkin. What has this world come to? It should always be fresh...like salsa or pico de gallo!!

I guess we had not been there more than ten minutes when Sharon and Dennis came in. Where Alice and Joe are Bab's parents, Sharon and Dennis are Ken's parents. Babs and Ken married at 18. High school sweethearts and the whole nine. They have raised children, seen tremendous tragedy, worked jobs, worshiped, argued, been in love, and been ready to spit nails. They are the typical, American family. They live their lives Sunday through Sunday with an honesty and realness that is humbling. They don't go to church on Sunday and pretend to be perfect people with the perfect house and the perfect kids and then have the ceiling fall in Monday morning. Nope. What you see is what you get and the very fact that they are about to celebrate their twentieth wedding anniversary speaks volumes...especially in a world where "playing perfect" is the norm so that we don't even realize that the "norm" is not dysfunctional at all, but rather just "real".

When Sharon and Dennis came in, the weirdest thing happened. Alice stopped what she was doing and met Sharon halfway and the two women hugged. They were genuinely happy to see each other. Sharon brought in a bunch of food and these two ladies sorted through everything and arranged it all so beautifully. They talked and giggled and made jokes about the amount of food on each other's plate. These women were friends!!! That's when it occurred to me...these women were each other's in laws!!! What?!?!?!?

I played out the whole thing in my head...Babs and Ken had married twenty-one years ago but that never meant for one second that Alice and Sharon had to like each other! I was so incredibly humbled by the friendship these women not only share today, but have shared the past two decades, I was almost moved to tears. In a world where so much can and does go wrong, God had joined together what no man could put asunder. God said that. Mark 10:9.

Which brings me to the ride home...Precious Son initiated the "I Am Thankful For" portion of tonight's show. Big Daddy started...

" I am thankful for each of you. The people that you are. The people you have become. I am thankful Mommy is fighting so hard to beat this disease. I am thankful that we got our priorities straight and now put family first instead of assuming we have all the time in the world. I am thankful we no longer take time or life for granted. I am thankful that my life turned out exactly like I wanted it to and that I have you as my family. You all are my world and without you I am nothing."

I was supposed to go next but was crying like a big ole baby, so Beautiful Daughter added her list of things for which she is thankful...

"This may sound weird or not like a thanksgiving thing, but I am thankful for it. When we first found out about Mommy being sick, I thought she was going to die right away. I know now that she isn't because she is still here and fighting so hard. I am thankful Mommy is here. I am also thankful for our friends and family, even the ones who live far away and we never get to see. I am very thankful that we have such great people in our lives like Babs & Ken and Uncle Bill & Elay. They make us so happy and we have such a great time with them. I am thankful that Daddy is with us more and that we are always doing things as a family now. I am thankful for our church and our youth minister and his wife. I am thankful for Precious Son's girlfriend because he loves her. I am thankful for my family and all the love we have as a family."

If you need to stop and get a tissue, go ahead, because even as I type, I am totally bawling.

So, I went next...

"The first one will sound completely selfish...well, because it is, but it has been a catalyst for change in me as a wife, a mother, and as a person. I am thankful that I know how Daddy feels about me with his whole heart. I am thankful that God blessed me with a marriage to the absolute love of my life before I ever allowed myself to believe that he was. I am thankful for where our family is and how our priorities have changed, placing family first. I am incredibly thankful for the deluge of support from our family and friends since the call came and for the new friends we have made since then. I am thankful that God gave me another chance to be a better wife, a better mother, a better friend and I have every intention of making each moment count as I become better for each of you."

Bawllllllllllllllllllllllling.....

Precious Son went last. He likes to do that. He holds the anchor position in a lot of family discussion stuff...

"First of all, I am thankful for each of you. I am thankful that Mom is doing so well with everything. I am thankful she is fighting so hard to win this and I am thankful God allowed us to find it early because Mom's chances are so much better at winning. We have not battled a lot of major tragedies as a family and I am very grateful for that. I know there are a lot of things going on in our country with financial crisis, job loss, and illness, but God has blessed us so abundantly. We are always thankful for our troops and their sacrifices and Dad, I am proud that you served our country. I am thankful that Dad is such an amazing provider that we haven't even noticed a recession or financial hardship that I know of. Maybe we have. I don't pay the bills, so I really don't know, but I do know that Mom has been able to be off from work and Dad has made everything work out so she can be home and get better and I am thankful for the Dad I have to take care of us like that. I think a lot of the person I am is because of who my Dad is. You work harder than anyone and never complain. You never get tired or quit. You make things happen. We have everything. I am thankful for the dedication you show to us as your family. I am thankful for my relationship with God and for all the people He has placed in my life. I am thankful for the time with you guys that I never knew we were missing. Mom, I am thankful for your sense of humor and disposition. You make me happy and I love you more than you know. I know you think I won't understand the depth of your love for me until I have my own child, but I think of you as my child because I feel like I need to take care of you. I feel like you need me. I love being around you and when I am, my day is better. I love you, Mom."

Cry. Cry. Cry.

In the blink of an eye, it all came together...

Of course our children would come home to us for holidays and even go on vacations and such because what God hath joined together, no man hath put asunder...and I am thankful.