CAUTION!! IRRITANT!!

So, I have moved on from the whole “what kind of cancer do I have” stage…I am actually tired of thinking about it. What’s done is done…it is what it is…c’est la vie…carpe diem…pass the mayonnaise…whatever. Let’s just move on.

I thought it would be fun to give another list of things that irritate me since I get so much feedback from those… Not sure if you like me being irritated or you simply relate to my irritants, but they are always fun to list. So, here we go!

Things That Irritate Pandora, Volume 88
1. Slow drivers. (Makes every list, every time)
2. Having someone upset with ME because someone else did not call THEM. What?!?!?
3. Having to repeat myself.
4. Not having enough hours in the day.
5. Cigarettes…I take it as a personal affront now.
6. Insurance people who ask me for symptoms to justify my short-term disability…"Ummmm, cancer?”
7. People who complain about things but do absolutely nothing to make them better.
8. Not having co-pays count toward my out-of-pocket expenses. Where ya think that money’s coming from???
9. Finding out that ice cream with peanuts does not constitute a “protein and a dairy”.
10. Being told “no, I didn’t do that”, knowing full well you did do that.
11. Bearing the sole responsibility of changing the toilet paper roll because no one understands the complexities of it or they may die if they attempt it. What the ?!?!?!?
12. Clicking on a story that interests me only to be re-routed to some advertisement for something I am NOT interested in and having to “X” out and start over, running the risk of being veered toward yet another ad. (One of the main reasons I am on anti-homicidal meds)13. People who use the self checkout lane in grocery stores and take forever because they can’t figure it out, it’s their first time, or they are just THAT stupid. It isn’t brain surgery, people!!!!
14. People who fake laugh and insist on fake laughing when I cannot say “STOP FAKE LAUGHING, FAKER!!”
15. Having something amazing to say and then forgetting it because I was interrupted.
16. Being interrupted.
17. Women who flirt with men to the point of making other women feel sick and the men feel dirty.
18. People who are mean to animals, children, or anything, really…so, people who are mean.
19. Liberals or loud people who cannot tell me why they think the way they do.
20. Long-winded excuses. Man up.
21. Family quarrels, couple quarrels, workplace quarrels, sibling quarrels, public quarrels.
Let it gooooooooooooooo.
22. Losing electricity for ANY reason. I am not a pilgrim. I am not a pioneer. I am not Caroline Ingalls.
23. Litter, littering, litterbugs. You stupid, lazy ass.
24. People who hurt my kid’s feelings.
25. Getting home and having to go right back out for something when I could have stopped on the way home.
26. Feeling like I am not making a beneficial difference in the world.
27. Having to “opt” to speak English when calling a company in America on a domestic line.
28. People who whistle or snap their fingers at a restaurant server. I want to smack you.
29. Opportunists who sue for the sake of suing and “easy money”.
30. People who steal, engage in insurance fraud and shoplift. You three groups are making the rest of us pay more for everyday stuff. Get a job like the rest of us!!! And for those of you who engage in identity theft…just you wait. The hell you put people through and the havoc you wreak on their lives is being duly noted by God and you will be punished.
31. Writing in ink on my calendar because I am positive of the details and then having the details change.
32. Clumpy White-Out. (See #31)
33. Things that just never seem to be accomplished…vehicles cleaned out, floors swept, clothes put away, groceries bought, dogs bathed, getting to bed early, etc.
34. That one thought that slams you when you least expect it and you can’t regain your ability to focus on anything else for the rest of the day.
35. Ungrateful people.
36. Passive-Aggressive behavior.
37. Saints on Sunday – Moles on Monday
38. Cats. (Not big cats like lions or tigers…just house cats.)
39. Boxing, golf, wrestling, and cage fighting. Really?
40. Howard Stern, Maury Povich, Jerry Springer, Montel Williams, Whoopi Goldberg, Amy Whinehouse, Oprah Winfrey, Martha Stewart, local business owners who buy tv ad spots and feel the need to “star” in them, stupid people, selfish people, and people who say things like “OH! I wish my body was forced into early menopause and I stopped having my period” or “I am so tired!” or “My one vote doesn’t count” or “That’s not my job” or “I’m not supposed to tell you this but…”

I also find people who are loud and obnoxious to be quite irritating along with people who think they know everything and feel the need to share their “knowledge” with you and, oh yeah!!…undisciplined kids. Parents: I can help you. I am far more interested in preparing your children to be responsible, worthwhile, politically engaged young citizens as opposed to being their friend.

Finally, for now because I have to go do stuff, let me just say that ghetto-gum-popping, pen clicking, keys/change jangling, and people who give ultimatums/deadlines/soliloquies without regard for what the other person may be feeling/thinking/struggling with because they are egomaniacs/self-aggrandizers/narcissists, I also find irritating.

See? Lists are fun.